Yes I probably sound awful because I think we could have an awesome relationship with Christ together instead of him being a priest. Jack I dont want another guy I want you. There has been so much emphasis on the sexual abuse scandals (and there should be where innocent children are involved! I am not I know that a calling sometimes take a sacrifice and you have to follow whats in your heart more and thats what I am doing no matter the pain and sadness you have to follow what more deep in your heart. Nothing has really developed yet to cause you heartache at this point! I used to catch him looking at me, he also always insisted that I was involved in meetings and voluntary work that he was involved with. Nobody understood my problem. At least I can say I made the effort and not avoided the opportunity. I have been feeling so disheartened by your situation and any like it, for the last few days. I know I must trust God to heal, I do hope, Jack, that you make the right decisionGod bless you too. I still see him almost everyday but things are so hard because he acts like nothing but a priest I dont know anything about. Emotional attraction is key to a deep, strong love. Hello its Jack the seminarians again. 1. He accepted me to a group with that I spent a lof of time. I cant leave I cant marry you unless there is a change in the church your free to date someone who can show you feelings and not hide them. Id hate to put an awkward rift between us, but I just want to move forward into a positive direction in my life. She said Jack please dont ignore me again I want you still being my friend but we cant have anything else no kisses like before just lets keep it like brother and sister. When you are looking at someone you are attracted to, you will start biting or licking your lips. They are men but just a different model, pretty abnormal and hard to read. Hello all its been a long time! I want him to retire from the priesthood and marry me! Ive sent you a private email. Similar things can happen between students and professors, patients and doctors, and clients and therapists.. We talked most days on the phone as we got on very well. Its so beautiful when people write honestly. Please check your spam folder, just in case. I was very depressed about losing her, I became very distant to people and was trying to escape the reality of what happened. Well there is a lot to discuss here. Maybe He wants a different interpretation of celibacy. Yes I am but thats my choice. I made my vows but I love the church but want her also sometimes crazy right!! But as we worked through the details of my marriage it became more of a healing process. Hey yall. If theres a Catholic Study Centre near you, go to Mass there, in their chapel. He seems to be really struggling with this entire thing and I am toogo easy on me lol. (Desolation..) Pray for help with this; you will get it. If your pastor were your own brother, how would you want a woman to treat him? And realize that your keeping distance from him might be the best thing you can do for him. but also know that you will desire another woman during your life as a priest! He overloads you with work so he can find a chance to meet you after work. I love my faith and do my best to practise it too but feel so sad that, at this stage, it feels like I will never get over him! This, to me, is the same as men, in proposing to and marrying the woman they love, have decided on the life they want to live, with whom and how. he feel uncomfortable now that im married when im around, if i ask him what happen if he is ok or not, he will just answer me he has butterflies in this stomach, which is nonsense. I now have a relationship with Jesus I never knew existed. Please feel free to email me more about the situation as well. I cant yet discuss what happened. There arent many places where women who feel in love can find solace. We have email contact but its cold and distant. You put that so eloquently well! But he is also human. You are free to decide: to love this woman or else to continue celibate priesthood. Sounds drastic, but its important to give yourself some physical distance so that no serious boundaries will be crossed., Be sure to also take a look at your personal life. Clandestine relationships may be very harmful in many senses. I really appreciate it. What will other priests say about them? Nobody is forcing you to go in particular direction, but please dont take this girl for a ride!! She wants to have a normal realtionship. Is there a possibility of going for counselling sessions as a couple? of unkindness and gossip. It confuses me though, because he will send me the odd email saying that he hasnt heard from me and wants to know how I am..even when I attend mass regularly. You know, in the end , WHATEVER happens, if you at least try to discern what is good , trust that it is all part of God s plan for you and whomever you are in relationship with. Its Jack the seminarian again well its been while I thought I would give an update. One of the biggest signs your woman likes another guy is if she appears distant, as though you never shared an intimate bond with her in the first place. Perhaps I wont contact him again. She is not catholic and cant take communion I was just frozen I stood still she looked at me I was beating so much inside felt so sick and scared she came up said Jack bless me please show that you care her eyes dripping so bad and her nose running all I could do was look I was in a state of shock! We all find ways. In the light of this, some priests take the bold decision to stay with their woman and continue to serve the Lord as a married priest. Share your review! One day he left parish and moved to a new city. A lingering gaze, a flirtatious remark, or physical contact are all signs of mutual attraction. I love the Catholic Church but I disagree with this man made ruleJack, I know what I want to tell you but I also dont want to confuse you if you have a calling and can fulfil the celibacy part of itand its not just the sex part of it..I think you see now that there is much, much more to it..hearts are brokenit sounds to me like one of those are yours. May God Bless you! Most probably running away for some time would seem to be the perfect solution. Thank you! To be honest I felt then that if I do that, I will commit a sin. I still wonder do you regret choosing not to be with her now she is gone? I;d like to thank you, now Im so crying cause I think that love can arrive only one time in our life even that its very unhappy WebThey have their legs uncrossed. He prefers to put his heart in a refrigerator than let it speak to him and surprise him! All that said..I love a Priest too! People were looking at me. After the mass people asked are you ok what wrong with you. I guess I dont understand why you refer to your desire to be close (in ANY way) as weak. I was in the church getting ready for mass and it was my turn to do the readings and I could not believe my eyes it was her in the pew she came to the church. Copyright 2023 RC Spirituality | All Rights Reserved. Go and speak with him. Dear Attracted, Developing an attraction to a priest is not uncommon; its just taboo to admit it. Our relationship just kept growing deeper and more intimate ( and no we never had sex) but the bond of love that grew between us was something I had never experienced before. Take your time. They dont behave the same way around you. It could help him persevere in his priesthood, so that he is available to continue to assist others. I dont know if the readers know of any free counselling..maybe onlinePlease readers give your views to help one of our readers. And he still disturbs my peace, not so much in the love I feel for him but in the hurt he has given me. Through reading your thoughts i forgive him. It hurts me a lot when I dont hear from him (he lives in another country, but we have met in person , we have cammed many times in the past, but not any more) and it makes me so happy when I hear from him. Aries is attracted to Leos confidence and self-assurance Aries are attracted to Leos independence Aries are attracted to Leos loyalty Aries are drawn to Leos sense of humor Aries and Leo love the thrill of the chase. We have a very strong sexual attraction to each other and it could be dangerous! Direct, sustained eye contact of more than ten seconds is a sign that she is attracted to you. Although I do pull his leg sometimes but thats not a sin. Ive had to deal with it all by myself but now its on the internet. Some seem to be obsessed with travel, (a way of blocking out the loneliness), some get very lonely and supress their feelings leading to depression, some have constant church parties and flirt with all the attractive ladies , taking everything they can get out of them for their selfish motives..Ive seen that too! To be honest I dont agree with your rule of celibacy, it is created by human not god, church imposed. Theres no wonder some are so messed up! i miss to be loved. I think you can reply by responding to this email? Loving a priest is by far the most different thing I have ever experienced. Many times, Ive had the opportunity to talk to him but I just dont have the courage because I am afraid of rejection. Jack, I would stand my ground and sit tight because it will change I reckon. I was feeling so strange I said ok I have to go I went fast and when I got back to the house she called me 2 times I didnt answer at first she called me again and I said I need time away from you she was like Jack I thought you were ok with us being just brother and sister I said please I need time she said ok I wont message you or call you and she ended the phone call its been over 7 days now with no contact. Or ministers in other Christian denominations. Mixed messages right first he said he cant and yet he tried. r/AskReddit. I still go to mass but have to stay away from him or he will put a restraining order on me. Im not ganging up here but I too wondered why the word weak was used! I found mine. There is what could be called sharing intimacy. The divorced who want to marry another person. Ive been naive both times!! Our pastor just invited me, and some other parish ministry leaders, on a small Lenten weekend retreat. If we are able to do that, maybe then we can claim that we truly loved. Its not good its a bad ending to it. I can help the feelings we have I have been nothing but open with her asked to find someone else. making love is one of the most beautiful thing in life! I sent you a private email. That hurt. It is only man made law NOT Divine law. It will help you take the appropriate actions., Set some strong boundaries around the relationship: no time alone with him and no unnecessary personal contact. Theres no specific priest Im in love with right now, but Im sort of falling in love with the idea of falling in love with a priest. My one consolation is God will make it right when we are in heaven. Fewer laity go to Study Centres, and in my experience, priests relax and talk to you, which Ive found they dont in parishes, possibly because big brotherthe laity.are watching them. May God Bless you! But you cannot look to others for a decisionthis you must make on your own. Thanks for writing. One has to avoid friendship at all costs..this is the general way of a priest behaving in society. (Could that be the Lords test you referred to ?? The experience of falling in love is overwhelming for anyone, but especially for a priest. Dear one..yes, some priests are gentle, clean, modest and very God fearing men. My email is charlottescott1977@gmail.com, Giving your personal email address in a blog might prove dangerous in the long run. In fact Id turn and run the other way and fast!! Thank you for your advice, Sir/ Maam! I also feel quite repulsed by his behaviour and have no feelings or respect for him. Infidelity cuts both ways. But hell never admit this. WebWell, there are subtle signs someone is attracted to you. Or he ran hot and cold, sometimes loving and helpful and sometimes cruel and uncharitable. Thanks . Even if they are not biting their lip, the unspoken chemistry will force them to keep touching their lips, and this is one of the signs of deep attraction and mutual chemistry. Well, all I can tell you, is that the celibate priest is not trained to deal with the opposite sex! It isnt hard to see how your home situation without a father present could stir the heart of a parish priest in a deep but inopportune way. However, hes very cold when were writing to each other, for others hes very warm, too warm recently! I thought I would give you all an update of whats happened! In one case, I asked to speak to my friend, as a priest, as ANYTHING, because of my crushing grief over losing two people close to me within a week. If not, Ill be sending you a personal and private email address, in order to discuss with more personal details. Also, I was able to see some your priests and I immediately had this weird feeling that I am slowly falling in love with a young priest. It makes me happy to see him precide because I feel at peace that I did the right thing. Nobody replied to my email. And then, in some cases, there actually IS a special connection that develops with the priest with whom there may be mutual interests. I know many priests who are not happy in there vocation and feel angry and are lazy in their parishs. He is love. Or those Catholic priests who are allowed to marry? Its the other way around for me.I have romantic feelings for a priest. When you are attracted to someone, you want them to know. Well its because i am a 19 Year Old Girl and im in LOVE with my 36 Year Old PRIEST! I cant blame him, he was attracted to me and I to him from the first meetingit scared me a bit as Id never had this before. how can you separate emotional and other physical connections from having sex? We are both keen philatelists so I used to give him some of my stamps that I knew he liked and did not have in his collection. We always recommend guidance and counseling when dealing with this kind of challenge. Yes, I do believe you are right about those questions which is something I ask myself all the time. ..he declined my offer as he could probably tell that Id want to see him again..hes incredibly tactful and we ended the conversation and a few texts later..on a pleasant but underlying, sad noteIt showed that its best to keep that distance. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Right time will come and he will fight for the love we shared. This is what me and my Priest did, and we keep things like that I am happy married now with 2 kids. I have been blessed to be friends with some elderly priests and have listened to them speak of their struggles and doubts. Yet the love he felt in I was like alright so Im giving us both time and space because its evident we both need it. For the rest of your life. Its a tough journey with many rewards but your choiceSo God bless you on your journeyyou will be in my prayers. Wonder whether you made a mistake? You are helping the girl to fall in love with you. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. There is no right or wrong when we try to justify our actions. He would not let her go out for entertainment such as to an amusement park. No more I love you, no more holding me, nothing. This can be heady, exciting, frightening, anxiety-producing, and He should look beneath the surface and see what hypocrisy he is creating in the priesthood. What you wind up with is infatuation and a dangerous dusfunction in a relationship. ; my greatest gift of love but for my children, has gone to the Lord. How can he just shut that off? I still adore him but I believe what I feel now is mere affection. But, one thing I will never understand, and I have read also in some comments or blogs, is the constant warmth and coldness he is displaying towards me Its as though he is fighting the priest and humanity in him constantly. It has happened to me several times in VERY different parishes. That to me is ridiculous as its asking a human to be a robot!! Until that part of their vows are extracted by the church, should I think of myself or should I think of him? then he move in the other parish in the other place far from where my place, but sometimes we meet if we visit him in his parish, every time we meet he is still the same as before, we are still in contact sometimes, until i got married, i am 30 years old now, he is avoiding me, i feel like i lost him, and when i feel i lost him i realize i love him too, i cant forget him, its hurting me when he avoid me, he dont reply my message, and then 1 day he said to leave him alone, ohh it was so pain, but when we meet in person accidentally or intentionally, he is still the same, sweet, he always like to talk to me like im the only person around him while there is other people also,. Many people would prefer this kind of approach as it would render many decisions much easier. Is overwhelming for anyone, but especially for a priest I dont agree with your rule celibacy. 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