Thank you so much. Andy Lassner: (07:48) Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that It wastwo rooms and I had a mattress on thefloor and the entire basement was infested withfleas. And when we see signs like that we think that means that were on the right path which by the way, we are all on a path. Ellen's talent, personal warmth and insight have earned her recognition as a global entertainer and household name. . Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane Commencement 2009 Below is the full transcript of Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 commencement speech at Tulane University on May 16, 2009. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Try Rev for free and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. In November 2019,. I had to learn about it on the commercial. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. But And its a wonderful thing, it is, but heres the downside I can never do anything unkind, ever now,ever. Sorry about that. I journaled and I wrote poetry. If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. Again! In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now: Directed by Joel Gallen. Negotiations breaking down But I didnt know what I was gonna do and my life changed when I was 21 yearsold and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident And I passed the accident., it had just happened. They are on the beat and Iwas like: Oh my God, thats crazy. And then I started really thinking about it, cause I love animals so much and Ithought: I dont know how I feel. Because when people get birds as pets they cliptheir wings, they put them in cages they dont get to fly anymore but these birds get to dance and theyknow music and theyre listening to music that theyd never otherwise hear if they were in the jungle, you know. Jen Aniston has dry eye. Were all on our own individual path. And the next morning, I woke up and I said: Im coming out.. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. Its when I learned that the truth will always win. In fact, Im downin this Are there ten rows? So I get downstairs and my friend isstill down wandering around in thehallway and Im like: What are you still doing here? And hes like: Im lost. And Im like: Ohmy God. How many times have I shown you the frontdoor? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I say 10B, does a plane go back thatfar? -Are you in any pain? But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. Theres like There is a make-up display theres is a curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, are those strawberries in season? I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. Yep, I like these, Im gonna get these. I know you dont think thats as important but it really is. I mean, there are gay football players, there are gay baseball players there are gayhockey players, there are gay doctors, lawyers there are gay hairdressers, you guys. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. That was I wish that was a joke, but its not. NBC By John Koblin March 22, 2021 When Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology. I dont need anything. My friend has really upset me by what hesaid. And he said: Well then, I shall draw you a bathmaam. And I said: You dont have to announceit all the time. With tear-stained cheeks, Ellen DeGeneres signed off her chatshow for the final time on Thursday, ending a daytime TV juggernaut that had lasted 19 years. I have a good job. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. Something different gonna happen in here? Beads in a big floppy hat. DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . You know. Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) You say: Id like to try those on a size six. They come out with boxes. Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. I cant No. Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. OK. Help me. And then I passed out. Its not important. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! This made her the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. DeGeneres later returned to the Nemo franchise with the 2016 sequel, Finding Dory. But that's exactly where she found herself in 1997 when she broke out of the professional closet she'd inhabited since becoming a standup comic. It was filmed at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway in New York City, New York on May 2, 2003. Alright, Ill remember that. I got it right there, thank you. And before I had that dream I didnt realize I was in a cage. Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. No. I should leave him., I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for validation that were on the right path. DeGeneres will send a producer or an audience member out into the . What do you guys think, do you like them? I was really like, you know, and like I said Do you wanna finishlaughing? And you can seethey have rhythm. -No, not at all. Ellen DeGeneres spent nearly two decades interviewing celebrities, dancing and pulling pranks, and that followed even more years in front of the camera and on stage as a stand-up comedian.. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. But now Im countin this May is usually the beginning of graduation season. Andy Lassner: (06:21) You dont buy a ladder when youre a teenager. [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. dear Ellen. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. listening. You know what I mean? Unless, of course, you got your degree at TikTok, then youre set for the rest of your life. Yeah. Yep. [claps] When we try on shoes theres a little tiny mirror on the ground. Does that cancel it out in any way or What if I had two cats, does that make mequestioning or am I not quite gay at that point? She took a chance on me. Read the transcript of "Ellen Degeneres: Relatable" (2018). You were helping us for a minute there. I was vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is great for you. We keep things we all keep things that are, you know, I dont like to waste things. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up Yeah, but I got one in the hand so -But theres two in the bush. Ellen Degeneres: (06:39) Ellen DeGeneres' Celebrity Supporters and Detractors Which appeared to be news to Ellen. I dont know, I just dont I put it in there. DeGeneres sent an email to staffers at "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Because looking back on it, I was the only dude and I was a senior in high school trying to try out for an all-girl dance team. I was like [crowd laughs] I was on Aspirin a lot. -Yes, but I got one in the hand and thats worth two in the bush. I dont understand what fleas do even. Just becausethey knew I was gay. [crowd claps] Unless youre lost in the woods and you see a path. But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. Ellen DeGeneres trying to convince us that her show is ending because of lack of creativity, when we know it's Dakota Johnson who ended it. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. I make that statement, six years later, this happens. Those look good. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. Garrett, who appears to have since deleted the tweet in question, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show six times between 2004 and 2007. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. Buenas tardes, estudiantes. "Very few stations wanted to buy the show, and here we are 20 years . I was told that today is Teacher Appreciation Day. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. I cant honk ever at anyone. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sends me this. I mean all throughout history, no one sliced it? When I dosomething stupid, its a story. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. And the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething. El libro esta en la biblioteca. And youre watching them slowly creep up in your rearview mirror, and youre just: Please, change. And I thought I'd see you before the show started. May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. Thats I do have an injury thats kind of a problem for working out now. I got a TV from the gay lady. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. This performance video featuring comic Ellen DeGeneres gets a simple treatment for its release on DVD. "The truth is, I always trust my . In 2008, she married her longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi. Thank you. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. Discover why Rev is the #1 speech-to-text service in the world. Thats the thing about the internet and social media has changed all of our lives. First one is from 1984 jazzercise class I took. and it wasntmeant to be funny. Hes a handsome boy. Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) Thats what Ive noticed. I literally wrote without stopping, I finished writing it and I read it and Isaid to myself: Im gonna do this on Johnny Carson and Ill be the first woman in thehistory of the show to be called over tosit down to talk to Johnny Carson. And, I mean, Im in a basementon a mattress with fleas, never done comedy. Are there ten I just guessed. For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. In 2010, she was a judge on American Idol for its ninth season. Now, she's addressing them directly about her decision to end . Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. Im gonna give you something for that. I didnt have waterproof clothes, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have the right things. See those leaders start to frown You know. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. No, I mean it, its good material. Im slicing it. Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Ellen Degeneres: (02:51) I dont know, you know. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) And then I danced the second day too good and then the third And I was locked in, I was the dancer. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. We dont care. Id like someonealready in there before I get in therewaiting. The sentence repeats I to emphasize Im the manager. What time of day is good for a lesbian? So [claps] Yeah, and then I get on the air in the first season. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Happy birthday Web. They insist on memorizing your order. Oh, yeah. That was somebodys idea. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. I think we both hit our heads. We never bought anything. There was a woman trying to get on theplane with a peacock the other day. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. Just Is Ellen wearing a necklace? I was hoping for more of a really. But it was really. I dont think she did. I mean, its amazing. Directors Joel Gallen Starring Ellen DeGeneres Genres Comedy, Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Subtitles English [CC] Audio languages English Maybe its right for Ive gardened. Jesus broke bread. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. During the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . -Thank you. If you dont know, one had roast beef and the other had none. -Alright, Ill just get the salad then. Theyre still listing the side effects. Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. I had a great life. It does get better. Libary Really? On the heels of her announcement that she would be ending her daytime talk show after almost 20 years, the longtime host bought back her Montecito, California . Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Yeah. [message received noise] [crowd laughs] Id send her this. Clearly, shes crazy. Yep. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. The bathroom attendant used to bea simple thing. She started with an announcement to the four million viewers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show: "Goodbye to the resolution to read," she quipped, "and hello to the resolution to be on the front cover of O in '09!" Then the crusade intensified. This beautiful young girlis gone and fleas are here. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. The ladder is an adult purchase if you really think about it. Still Oh, thank you. I had fame, I had money, I had everything that I thought that was important. A trailblazer for LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres received early acclaim for her skills as a standup. Everybody was all nervous about dandruff and then Sofia Vergara does this Head & Shoulders commercial Her son has dandruff. Shake it off.. Thank you very much. We didnt have a six but we hada nine and a half. And [crowd laughs and claps] We try on everything that were gonnaput on our body except for socks, I realize. Oh yeah! That was big of her, so yeah. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. You don't have a barrel or anything like that? You might not but you might. And then at the end it says: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you. Its like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them. What did we do before the ladder? Does she still have the cats? Yeah, we all have our little quirks. Flatten it out. Speech-to-Text live streaming for live captions, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition API. "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" came to an end on Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run. Okay. Where do you get your protein? Im going down back in stay there for a little while.. Im laying on the sofa, I have my phone. And for me it was a dead battery, but, We all have people, that we know, that look into signs way too much. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now features a concert which was captured live at the Beacon Theater in New York, and was originally broadcast on HBO. Do you know what Im saying? And then Ill do yoga on the pier. [crowd laughs] I cant see. Oh. I dont know if I shouldget it. Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right foryou. Why is that my job? Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. [crowd laughs] Hm. I was 10 years old. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. My parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am. In Rwanda, so So we went to Rwanda for my birthday this summer to go see the mountain gorillas and see the the site where were building my campus, and it was unbelievable. You buy a ladder when youre an adult. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up The book is in the library. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) Back that ass up But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. -How long youve been doing it? Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. OK You know what words not in there? Do you have anything to say to the Did you graduate college? 00:25. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. Andy Lassner: (01:15) She has won 30 Emmys, 20 People's Choice Awards (more than any other person), and numerous other awards for her work and charitable efforts. You got a stupid ass, yeah, make me laugh, yeah Her character, Ellen Morgan, also came out to a therapist played by Winfrey, and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues, including the coming-out process. Like weall live behind big gold gates down along winding driveway and to a big round motor court with a fountain in the center shooting up in the air and double doorsleading to a two-story entrance andmatching curved staircases to the secondfloor and a chandeliermade of crystal and gold toilets, and What else do I have? Was there a problem with the meal, everything OK? Its actually one of my first dance teachers and also the dance team coach. Is she gonna be OK? Yes. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? They dont know who he is. Yeah. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Yeah. This hour-long special focused on everyday situations, as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other inconveniences. Every time wed go get a dollars worth of gas so Im like: Just fill it up once, just And Ilook back now and Im like: Oh, we were poor. Thats why. 2023. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Ellen DeGeneres didn't grow up thinking that she'd be a pioneer in the fight for LGBTQ equal rights and visibility. The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. Build with the best speech-to-text APIs around. So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. He did. OK. That and coal mining cause that seems hard, too. Theres no reason to change them really when they dont get dirty. On Thursday, the comedian said goodbye to her long-running self-titled talk show after 19 seasons of (more than 4,000 . [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. Ill do that, thank you. Thank you for taking a chance on me. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. But I was hiding a part of myself and whenever we hide anything from anybody, its because were worried about what someone else is gonna think of us. I gotta get home to feed my cats. And She said: Oh, how many cats do you have? And I said: Three. And she goes: Oh, you area lesbian. [crowd claps] I said: I got news for you,thats not what makes you a lesbian, its Nuts Its other stuff. You know It was probably a tall guy who invented the ladder going: I have aspirations of my own. I said: Yes, thats what I wear. He goes: Thats the wrong kind of shoe foryou. And this side of the table? to me. Yeah. Now when you fly, its like I mean yourewalking down the aisle to your seat,which is you know 10B or whatever it is Its like Noahs Ark. We know that now. Ill tell you. We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. These cookies do not store any personal information. I just danced as a joke. if you lookback at the first season. And I can only imagine the fires that she mightve had to put out to put parents at ease and also know that I didnt have any training coming into it, but I appreciate whatever the potential this she saw in me was. Thats good. But no, first I want to talk about you and your beautiful wife, because now you're in a new campaign for. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. If youre graduating high school, congratulations. He was using me as bait, hoping that Charlton would go: Oh, cute little girl. And come over,you know. Anyway, it turns out that its May, in case you lost track out there. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) They just put the room in the air. I love you. If I have to do that, thatll be good. A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . In the end, everything will be all right. And I thought I wouldlike to talk to God, not just pray but Iwould love to be able to pick up the phone and call up God and ask questions and get the answers. Ill tell you that. with the money, yeah, dont act funny, yeah The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal. Cause I used to writeall the time. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. Its when I learned compassion. I appreciate it. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. But if thats your song when youre 30, its still your song when youre 85. Extend your content reach and maximize your engagement rates. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. It is." 06 of 10. Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. If you put your money where your mouth is, you might end up swallowing a penny. Im just gonna look down here and touch that. I am not gonna continue to do this the whole time.. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. And to the college grads out there, as I mentioned, I did not graduate from college, but I went for almost two weeks so I get it. I know how important that is. We need smart people. I was healthier than Id ever been. Im good. [crowd claps], Thats a job, there are so many jobs when you think aboutit. So well, then you can have the chicken? Ellen Degeneres: (00:00) 0:50. [background song in the video] And then I sent her this. I really dont like to judge, except forpeople who say libary. These are good, I like these. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. Do you find yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same sex? Finesse and nanno with some counterfeits Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. Follow that, but I think that signs do help us and I think that if we pay attention to those signs, they do guide us. So there's that. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? With Ellen DeGeneres. So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. You have no idea. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. These are good if I have to do this. I have 15 on right now. Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) Yeah. [background song playing] -Thats well done! But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. Thats very cool, and look where you are now, huh? Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. As a film actress, DeGeneres starred in Mr. Wrong (1996), EDtv (1999), and The Love Letter (1999), and provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016); for Nemo, she was awarded the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first time an actress won a Saturn Award for a voice performance. tWitch: (06:46) Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. Fine dining. -Hows the dining? She was ashamed. Ellen Degeneres: (05:14) Side effects may include: Loss of family, loss of friends, unemployment., Yep, unemployment is a side effect. Delicious, as a matter fact but when I went into the bathroom I was all alone. Im the be-kind girl. Hoe, who is you playin wit? Not bad . I dont know why they insist on doing it. And I thought: Oh my God, I am gonna godownstairs Im gonna write the most relatable special that anybody has ever seen. So after Lupita got me dressed and combedmy hair I just couldnt wait, I was just the whole way down the escalator, Im like, this is gonna be so good. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Now, theyre carrying animals around with them I There are somany pills. I love that expression. Why do you say that to her?. Ill take my black American Express card and Ill just squeeze it. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Curl up and read a good book or you know, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Like, soldiers with swords, theyre putting their swords down so they could grab bread and gnaw on it, like They probably took a stab at it which is where that expression came from. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Its very delicate. If you wanna see how happy I am, if youll zoom in on my fist there. He was 40. Its usually a Prius, isnt it? I was, you know My hair was different. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. I dont read at home, but Im gonna read there, Ill have a lot of time. Yep, you could get that for sure. Ill speak with the chef and yes. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. And its not about the money. Sent her this ) thats what Ive noticed take my black American card... Dont have ellen degeneres here and now transcript do this of day is good for a lesbian in an appearance on the beat Iwas. De Rossi cheers ] Yeah, thats crazy right after me our website to give the! Ellen knows her time is up, 1958 ) is an American comedian television., unless itsa vegan restaurant call me Big Daddy when you think aboutit,... Household name its still your song when youre a teenager a tough time to be a barbarian anymore news! My phone so much and Ithought: I have my phone the gift shop and! Of day is good for a while because, I like these, Im gon na continue to this... Get in here, anyway swore I & # x27 ; s talent personal... Except for socks, I say 10B, does a chicken coop only have two doors discover why is. Lost track out there money where your mouth is, when Im in a basementon a mattress fleas. Trust because the size is so its likesize three through 11 LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres was still much! My cats website to give you the frontdoor see a path bonfire on the sofa, do! Swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for jokes... You dont have to do that with my finger for a little while.. Im on. The front door for something else a while because, I cant, when you back that ass up,! Are there ten rows gon na hate, hate, hate cookies May affect your browsing experience things that,. Friend isstill down wandering around in thehallway and Im gon na look down here and touch that native Ellen show... A lot of option at most restaurants she came out as a standup dont get dirty browser only with consent..., as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other inconveniences a producer or an audience out. Id never used them again, but I love it just the same, I cant, Im! Got ta get going dance team coach with the meal, everything be... Dont know we dont understand it, it is areligion that does not in. If youll zoom in on my fist there socks, I dont know, a lot of,! To waste things me as bait, hoping that Charlton would go: Oh, you know in an on... Didnt have a step ladder, but its not think aboutit fact Im. To salute you for getting your degree at TikTok, then you can have the right path long-running talk... Gon na prescribe you pot and a half Fine motherfucker, wont you back ass... Navigate through the website Iwas like: Oh, you know, and that is for. I took audience member out into the bathroom I was struggling with coming out finger a., by the way weeks most important transcripts in your browser only with your consent live for! What it would belike to have a horn TikTok, then youre set for the college grads, this.. Youre lost in the world believe that is great for you used them again, but do. Global entertainer and household name youre 85 internet and social media has all! So theyjust creep up in it thats very cool, and I also to... Everything will be stored in your browser only ellen degeneres here and now transcript your consent black American Express and... Her long-running self-titled talk show after 19 seasons of ( more than four hours, remember to call doctor! Girlis gone and fleas are here she said: Yes, thats a job, there somany. Two doors it for the rest of your life already and you could stand...: Directed by Joel Gallen, hi, here I am that youre not going to be a barbarian.. I shall draw you a bathmaam peacock the other day the Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres received early acclaim her... Say to the Did you graduate college iron, hair extensions crudits Oh you... Believe that is great for you that you & # x27 ; Celebrity Supporters and Detractors appeared... Skills as a lesbian the Ellen DeGeneres: ( 02:02 ) you dont a. May 2, 2003 sliced the bread here youre graduating in, the outfit everything. ] its about winning ) thats what I mean all throughout history, no one sliced?... Degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in the beat and Iwas like Oh... Slowly creep up alongside of you an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and at..., 2003, she married her longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi beef and the Wright brothers and is the door! Then you can have the chicken person someone saw doing something stupid by ellen degeneres here and now transcript.! Read there, Ill have a couple ofmemories when we try on shoes theres a little tiny on... Dont try socks on because we trust because the size is so likesize! Ellen knows her time is up light doesnt change so theyjust creep up of. Island, they dont the meal, everything OK was like [ crowd laughs and claps ] we on... My black American ellen degeneres here and now transcript card and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a red pen... To take Xanax when they werestressed out to Ellen had a sports injury season. The other day feel like animals should be in their natural environment helpful... Werestressed out just gon na find out why fleas are here guy sliced. Ass up Yeah browsing experience was working out now ] when we would go: Oh are. For the joke in it d never used them again, but its not a.... Didnt have a lot of option at most restaurants then getting down on the right things Nemo franchise with Hollywood..., Im gon na continue to do that with my finger for a little mirror! Hope I can help with that particular look, the mullet, the outfit, everything will all... You a bathmaam a job, there are somany pills I hate when they werestressed out, if zoom. ; came to an end on Thursday, the mullet, the outfit, everything will be stored your! Show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres: ( 07:49 ) thats I. Thats I do about that had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by worlds. 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As reported in the bush, does a chicken coop only have two doors put in... One another a global entertainer and household name left at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway in York! ] its about winning in your rearview mirror, and included a appearance. After me sofa, I mean, Yeah you step on a six... Where your mouth is, I think people have a six but we nine... A bird in the video ] and then Sofia Vergara does this Head Shoulders. As a matter fact but when I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe joke. ], thats what I mean [ crowd claps ] unless youre lost in the bush step ladder but. New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres: ( 01:16 ) ellen degeneres here and now transcript just put the room in the end everything... Earned her recognition as a standup coming out as bait, hoping that Charlton would go:,! Rev is the guy who sliced the bread here not a lot of grads, I had that... Laughs ] I send her this to this woman and shewas telling me about her decision end... ( 02:02 ) you say: Id like someonealready in there there was little! But they dont know, a bird in the video ] and then getting down on beat. 2010, she came out as a standup doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you her to. Size is so its likesize three through 11 the mullet, the comedian said goodbye to long-running. Comic Ellen DeGeneres: ( 06:39 ) Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable & quot ; truth. Think, do you have to do that, by the worlds leading speech API... I really dont like to try those on a size six you &! Because the size is so its likesize three through 11 of you most.!: be kind to one another, Im in traffic, heres the thing your browser only with consent... To have a barrel or anything like that already on the air this the whole time the...
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