I think Ive only asked someone once to stop wearing her perfume (I only worked in that office a few days a month so I figured she could maybe just not wear it those days, and she generally didnt after that which I really appreciated.) If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. As someone who is very sensitive to scents, I just wanted to say to the LW how NICE it is that you put in so much effort to be un-scented! [there are too many comments to read so I apologise if this is redundant]. I believe it also has been done with similar results for people of color. Do you have a sweater or jacket that you wear on a regular basis that you keep in your office? I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. If shes that sensitive, she needs to work with HR on accommodations anyway, as random salespeople and customers are going to cause her serious trouble. Your box of tissues has become your closest companion (and admit it your sleeve has been called in to pinch hit on a couple of terrible occasions). But what if she likes patchouli? Is the boss smelling it? OP needs a bigger sample size to determine if its an actual issue or just a crappy coworker. Unscented my butt. I mean I get the idea but thats a heck of a food to ruin. Shame and guilt. Because she is acting like a jerk. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. Youre talking about general, being-in-the-world sounds and scents. If you let mgmt/HR know you want to do what you can to address your co-workers sensitivities, youll be seen as proactive and sympathetic. I empathize with those who have trouble controlling their sniffles because sometimes even the best, most consistent health care cant turn off the faucets in your face, and no amount of tissues in the world will ever be enoughbut f*ck is that repeated sound awful. If not, I need you to stop commenting about something that I cant do anything about. Peachie, you gave it away a little when you said your mother eats with her mouth open. I only wash my hair about once a week and I know that youre probably saying AH HA! Dolores had a desk about thirty feet away and told me to stop and that the smell was making her sick. OP How long have you and this co-worker worked together? He finally had a doctor who asked just the right questionand after a few more tests and exams, it turned out it was a tic and that he has (a very mild form) of Tourette's syndrome. Because unless the company is paying a fortune in extra costs, carpet cleaners are awful for people who are scent reactive. The bosses had a fit at the landlords there was a fountain in the courtyard that nobody ever checked up about and it was leaking water from pipes in the walls for who knows how long. 5.3k views Reviewed >2 years ago. Now I want to go looking for a nice lemon perfume, though. I agree! Maybe the OP or the manager can talk with the cleaning crew to find out what products they are using to clean the desks, carpets, etc. The coworker seems to expect a level of accommodation that you should really only expect from someone youre cohabiting with. We had all worked together for over two years before this started. On a sidewalk, on a windy day. It kind of reminds me of when I got food poisoning after drinking hot chocolate, and even though I dont think it was the cocoa that did it (rather, I think it was lunch earlier that day), for MONTHS I couldnt even look at much less smell cocoa without feeling sick. :(, Why is Alison mentioning lemon scented body wash? I have been through a lot of different A friend of mine. The OP has already done everything within reason (i.e. And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. I find it appalling. And one year when I was a broke college student, the place where I worked had basically an endless supply of get a meal 1/2 off coupons from Moes, which was next door to the store and made it the cheapest full meal I could get most days. It got escalated to HR and we were asked to be mindful of this persons needs. I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. LW treat this as a bullying issue, not a health issue, and proceed accordingly. I have migraines, asthma, and a couple breathing conditions, and one or another of my conditions has been set off by someone wearing too much scent, by heavy smokers who arent even smoking at the time. I dont think this is a race thing. But youre not alone and I for one believe youre probably not the problem. At my last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself and another coworker. I am fairly active on Twitter (my personal account, of course), where my political opinions are pretty obvious, but I have no idea what hers are, and shes never brought it up. Oh, now that you say that Im remembering that she didnt complain once about the intern we had last summer who practically bathed in Axe products I asked him once and he had the body wash AND the cologne/body spray stuff! Ugh the bathroom fabreeze. And if the coworker isnt asking every single person in the office to eliminate scents of all types, it seems clear to me that this is less of a fragrance issue and more of a my coworker is a jerk issue. Guess what? Its a hippie scentmaybe. Its driving my husband insane. Im thinking the co-worker is using the term patchouli as an insult, catch-all term to encompass all hippie-ish smells (patchouli, sandalwood, desert sage, etc) of the type that might be sold at with other natural oils. My problem is that this coworker is now complaining constantly about the perfume Im not wearing! Ooh, I would love to have a coworker who smelled like cookies! I hope something works for the person who wrote this! 1. 20 years later, Im still not on speaking terms with watermelons. She should take this up with the manager, not with you directly, and certainly not with little cutting comments instead of direct requests. Complaints may be about your work performance or personality. I'm 29, she's in her thirties. I dont know what the answer to this situation would be. (Which is why, if I were her coworker, Id be looking for accommodation. Im sorry youre dealing with this. That just made my phantom smell issues like 10x worse because I was right one time.). I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. I literally invited HR to do spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray. I would follow Allisons advice and go to HR with her to see how to accommodate her sensitivity. That doesnt keep the other odors from actually entering, though; it just overpowers them. Its not like youre shoving incense sticks up her nostrils. And then do that, because its reasonable for you not to want to be subjected to this. It smells nothing at all like lemon though. He's had been a cocaine user. It drives me up the wall. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. I do think if youre going to burn incense or wear perfume on your free time though, you should make an effort to isolate your work clothes away from the scent and wash them regularly, because that stuff is POWERFUL. Reader asks how to solve a nearby co-worker's sniffling problem Perspective by Judith Martin , Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin February 5, 2022 at 12:00 a.m. EST Article Dear Miss Manners: I. ^_^. "It was like ripping a plaster off.Could you tackle the sniffing in a similar way? Theres no way that none of them have even one Powder Fresh or Ocean Breeze or Fresh Cotton or Freesia Delight product in their lives. You can always go to HR on the day she complains about your scent, and point blank ask them if they smell it. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. I dont think she does, but I think she does genuinely believe that the OP is still wearing perfume. How To Deal With A Coworker That's Interested In You Even if some scent is lingering in the OPs clothes or her body wash is stronger than she thinks, it sounds like she uses a lot less scented stuff than many people do. I inhale the mindblowing smells and sandals I also lick, but only the inner soles where the pretty feet have met the . :). I am not moving again. (Relatively scent-free.) How is 24/7 sniffling allowed in an office space without repercussions? Is your nose running a marathon? Its possible something else has changed with the co-worker and thats why the scent all of a sudden became a problem in the last month. Theres a lot of people here with many suggestions on how to work with your co-worker to stamp out any lingering smells. If the smell lasts too long, my headache can turn into a full-blown migraine. Also, people may have to use specific strongly smelling products because of their own medical needs. You have a meeting. And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. Toronto-based journalist William McCoy has been writing since 1997, specializing in topics such as sports, nutrition and health. My girlfriend know about me sniffing her shoes. Often I come across as rude, and I sincerely dont mean it. I just read your post describing your boyfriend's sniffling and was thinking that could be me writing that post. To me, sniffling is like nails on a chalk board. I use a particular line of products that are not perfume-y, more a general sense of gee, you smell good, and I tend to be pretty mingy with product anyway. IF the coworker is mentally going hippie scents, pagan scents, Indian scents, whatever, then lemon would probably hit the same scent mnemonic. Same with strawberry shortcake and popcorn. Oh, its called scent layering? Im allergic to a ton of fragrances. Im quite certain that nobody else around her is making this much of an effort to be scent-free. as others mentioned, is not fine. Here are 11 signs you're dealing with a toxic coworker. OP, could that be the source? She requested I be moved. Ive occasionally used new products at home or at work that were stronger than I anticipated. Her professional background includes designing curriculum, writing books, coaching business leaders, and speaking and training. I think a lot of people like the stuff you put on chicken; by itself, it doesnt taste like much. :D. I was wondering the same thing- Im sure LW isnt the only person in that office who uses scented products. Sadly, lots of people fall for this. Im not allowed to wear headphones at work, but occasionally when the boss is out I sneakily put some on anyway and I can hear her sniffling even with white noise, pink noise, and any kind of music at full blast. Yes, most modern products are quite the cocktail, so while the scented molecules may be the most noticeable they may not be whats actually eliciting the sensitivity. I agree the coworker is being a jerk and is completely out of line with how she is handling this, but it could also be this particular scent and not all scents. Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. Used only a little, but it took four washes to get most of the scent out of my clothing. I have been very confused about the comments. Yes, I suppose there might be some scent molecules on your shoes or your chair fabric. Its really hard to find an average drug store might have one type of unscented shampoo for babies. It wouldnt make the way she treats the OP any more acceptable but it would at least explain whats happening. I would be saying you have a problem with the smell of soap and water? Im not sure why so many people are suggesting ways for the OP to further neutralize her scent. I would abstain from actively putting on perfume before work, but I wouldnt get up early to shower before work if that wasnt something I felt like doing. If you're fighting a cold and are forced to sniffle repeatedly, consider stopping at the drug store for something that will relieve your symptoms. I didn't do it to annoy others. I hope thats not whats going on here (or shaming for other categories or behaviors that the co-worker thinks are different.). Sneaky jerks. I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. You can smell her a mile away. Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. Either way, this isnt OPs issue to resolve, and OP has already done whats reasonable to do. Lots of white person wearing patchouli-ish smells in my city. Problem is, no one around you sees the flames or senses the heat, so they have no sense of urgency to bolt for the doors. take a deep breath (through your mouth): The cause of chronic sniffling is Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. I have had to give away clothes I bought on eBay before that were so saturated with perfume that I could not wash it out, even with multiple washings and with leaving the garment hanging outside in the fresh air a long time. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. I have the same problem - I had it as a child as well and it Removing all caffeine helped. I dont have anything new/useful to add, but it sounds like youve gone above and beyond to accommodate your coworker. Wait, shes not allergic or so scent-sensitive that its giving her headaches, or other negative physiological effects? As soon as you have something unprovable that isnt supposed to be questioned, bullies and jerks will latch onto it. Does anyone have answer. I think those comments are more along the lines of eliminate every possible culprit so that you can prove its not you, That and the How can you make her stop already (other than addressing it with her). First it was people smacking gum, then chewing crunchy foods with their mouth open, and now its almost any audible chewing sounds at all. If you were my office mate, LW, and told me youd done all of this, Id be thanking you, even if I was still being triggered. I think the people talking about scent associations are right on the money. For about a week, it was great! On that tip, OP, I find oils to be *awful* not only do they stick to fabricate around you, but the scents they carry are so concentrated. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. I'm glad she's miserable about being single. I could not smell it at all but she certainly could. Good luck and thank you for taking this stuff seriously. Hey, thanks for reporting in, and it sounds like things are better! I worked in a department that she visited maybe once a week. It just makes it worse. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. Maybe, but one of the complications would be figuring out the nature of the sensitivity.. The longer we are exposed, the more affected and sensitive we are. . I'm the only one with a direct view. Do you wear those oils outside of work? Another coworker can have an anaphylactic reaction to some scents. So why wasnt the smell bothering the coworker before that? The best way to drown somebody out without breaking your eardrums or losing your concentration is to use some white noise. You see, it seemed the more I tried to accommodate, the more entitled she felt to make me accommodate her even more. Its kind of like when they tried to get more women in orchestras and did blind testing, and then found out they were still excluding women because in formal orchestra interviews they were wearing heels that made noise which interfered with the true blind test. But seriously? If I were OP, Id be tempted to say, Patchouli? I tried one perfume on a wrist (not even sprayed) and it must have soaked a little into the sleeve of my cotton sweater. I ALWAYS try to sniff and lick sweet girls' shoes. What would I have to do then buy all new clothes to eradicate a scent that may or may not exist? Sure, the smell bothered me and sometimes I had to go take a walk to the water cooler to clear my head, but we were doing everything possible to mitigate the scent in the office so I just had to suck it up and deal with it and I would never dream of asking my boss to change his lifestyle to accommodate me. Another indicates that asthmatics may have worse symptoms if they perceive an odor as irritating their asthma (same scent identified as alleviating to one group and irritating to another, the irritating group all had a much more significant response). I think the LWs coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly. Also, people never think of clothing/accessories that are not regularly washed. It can be very painful and isolating to have this kind of sensitivity. I add vinegar to thrift store clothes to get ride of the scented detergents most of them wash things in. Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. But some people never stop being bullies, or they become bullies in adulthood because theyre tired of being powerless. up. I agree with the other posters who mention getting a second opinion and Alisons advice to bring in your manager to mediate. I get mean vibes from her too. And there can be a lot of cultural baggage around scent. That said, though, the perfume I was wearing the day she complained didnt actually have any patchouli in it, and I wear my patchouli-scented oils very sparingly. Related: you would not believe the number of people who accept all beliefs/races/genders/orientations/nationalities/etc. Agreed. I got wicked food poisoning from Italian wedding soup with kale. Issues between coworkers can go from bad to worse and even become toxic! It may not register with me that Im smelling something, but if Im in a good mood and start getting irritable for no apparent reason, I usually think about the smells around me to identify the culprit. So many great suggestions here for how to deal with her from that perspective since she, not the scent, is the problem. So yeah. OP do you have a coat, shoes or bag that might be holding onto the smell? 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